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When a relationship feels like it’s hitting all the wrong notes, it’s only natural to start thinking, “Should I stay, or should I go?” Cue The Clash – ironic, isn’t it? Deciding to leave or stay brings a wave of questions and concerns: emotions, the kids, finances, and the unsettling unknown of what lies ahead. The key question which often comes up: should I move out?

Most lawyers will tell you not to. Normally, this is not because you will be giving up your share of the marital home or that you will otherwise face some financial penalty for doing so. It is because your other half will then be left living in the home with no incentive to sort out a settlement. This may result in their using tactics to delay or frustrate proceedings or a settlement and, even more so, when part of the settlement involves the sale of the marital home. And, even if a settlement is agreed and a court timetable is set for the sale of the home, that may not overcome this difficulty. Yes, ultimately the sale will take place but, in the meantime, you might lose a purchaser and who wants the delay and expense of having to go back to court to enforce an order for sale, because the estate agents or potential purchasers are being given the run around on the basis that all viewing times are ‘inconvenient’.

If you move out, you must obviously consider the financial implications. You will be paying for your new home and possibly also having to contribute towards the mortgage on the marital home (you remain liable if the mortgage is in joint names), plus maintenance for the children and maybe spousal maintenance as well. All of this depends on the financial position of the parties and every case is different. In an extreme case, where the remaining party must pay the mortgage, they might even argue for a larger settlement to compensate them. Where there is no suitable or affordable second home and parents want their children to experience as little disruption as possible, a comparatively recent idea is a ‘nesting’ arrangement. This involves renting a nearby property which the husband and wife use on alternate weeks whilst the other returns to be with the children in the marital home. This is not a straightforward solution but can work despite practical disadvantages concerning housekeeping issues and if another relationship is formed.

If the marital home is owned by your spouse and you move out, then to protect your interest you should register a Matrimonial Rights Act Notice at the Land Registry. That will have the effect of notifying a purchaser that you have an interest in the property and prevent the property from being sold without  your knowledge. If children are involved, moving out normally means you are going to see less of them. Although it may be difficult to have a discussion, if possible, before moving out try and agree when and how often you will see the children. This will also establish a pattern which will be important, if subsequently there is a dispute about how often you will see the children and how long they will stay with you. Finally, if you are moving out, this is the best time to take your possessions and anything else you want. Retrieving them later may prove a lot more difficult. Of course, living together may become intolerable and to defuse an already difficult situation it may be best for everyone that you do move out. However, before doing so, be aware of the implications and take advice. We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we
are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the
temperature and save money. If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

It is interesting that even though some divorcees may be unhappy with the advice or legal service they receive or the cost of it, it is very unusual for them to obtain a second opinion. By comparison, in the medical world, patients often seek a second or even a third opinion before they decide what to do. As divorce is such a difficult and important time, and you only have one chance of ‘getting it right,’ it is strange that people do not trouble themselves with a second opinion. Here are some reasons for this:

  • Concern about incurring additional legal costs
  • Fear of upsetting their existing lawyer, despite dissatisfaction
  • Reluctance to ‘start again’ with someone new

Overcoming the Barriers:

  • Cost Considerations: While legal fees can be a concern, obtaining a second opinion can be reassuring, needn’t cost a fortune and will hopefully save you money in the long run by ensuring your
    case is handled correctly. It’s important to weigh the second opinion cost against potential future savings or better outcomes.
  • Maintaining Relationships: It’s understandable to worry about upsetting your current lawyer, but your primary concern should be ensuring the best possible outcome for your case. Professionals understand the value of second opinions, and a good lawyer will respect your decision to seek one.
  • Ease of Transition: Starting with a new advisor doesn’t mean starting from scratch. Many professionals can review existing documents and give their opinion based on the current status of your case.

How to Obtain a Second Opinion

You could consult another solicitor, but we favour Direct Access

  • Research Your Options:
    • Look for Barristers Offering Direct Access: This approach allows you to consult a barrister directly without needing a solicitor’s referral. It’s cost-effective and efficient.
    • Check Credentials: Ensure the barrister has experience and positive feedback in handling divorce cases that are like your case.
  • Understand the Cost:
    • Transparent Pricing: Direct Access Barristers normally have clear pricing structures. An opinion can usually be obtained for £1,000/£2,000 plus VAT, depending on case complexity and the barrister’s seniority.
    • Value for Money: Remember that for technical advice, barristers are generally considered more knowledgeable and cost-effective than solicitors.
  • Manage the Process:
    • Prepare Your Documents: Organize your paperwork and provide a comprehensive overview of your case for the barrister to review.
    • Confidentiality: You can seek a second opinion without informing your current solicitor, ensuring your existing relationship is not jeopardised.

Practical Steps to Instruct a Direct Access Barrister At Divorce Solutions, we frequently assist clients in navigating this process:

  • Contact Us: Reach out to discuss your needs and we can recommend suitable barristers.
  • Documentation: We help collate and review your documents to ensure the barrister has the background story and all necessary information.
  • Setting Up Meetings: We can arrange virtual or in-person meetings with the barrister to obtain their expert opinion.

Benefits of Direct Access

  • Expertise: Barristers are technical experts, generally more familiar with the case law and current court attitudes than solicitors.
  • Cost Efficiency: By bypassing the solicitor, you reduce duplication of effort and associated costs.
  • Good Value: Barristers are generally less expensive than solicitors for providing expert legal opinions.

In conclusion, seeking a second opinion can be a wise investment in your future, potentially leading to a better outcome and more satisfaction with your divorce proceedings.

If you’re feeling unsure about your current legal advice, consider reaching out for a second opinion.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes.

We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

A study in the U.S (reported in the Independent), has identified that 36% of adults getting divorced are aged 50 or older and that the only age group with an increasing divorce rate is adults aged 65 and older.

This raises questions about how ‘grey’ divorcees will manage financially in old age when they need to fund two homes and lifestyles instead of one.

The study says that typically, divorces at this age will negatively impact women more than men and that in heterosexual relationships, the economic effects are reportedly “less severe” for men. The survey found that middle-aged men may even experience an income bump after their divorce. Typically, women in younger generations are more likely to work well into middle age than their older counterparts.

Social norms perpetuated in past decades, like men being the sole breadwinners and providers, result in the economic disadvantages that “grey divorces” impose on women.

Instead of relying on their spouses to manage the finances, future generations of women are therefore encouraged to take a more active role in the family finances. In the event of a divorce, having a backup plan will leave them on a better financial footing. Pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements can be important tool in planning ahead.

Here are 5 practical steps to take for those facing or considering a “grey divorce” to ensure financial stability and well-being:

1. Assess Financial Situation:

  • Inventory Assets and Liabilities
  • Budget for Two Households

2. Legal and Financial Advice:

  • Consult a Financial Planner
  • Hire a Divorce Consultant and / or solicitor
  • Evaluate Retirement Plans
  • Consider Employment

3. Health Insurance and Care Planning:

  • Health Insurance Coverage
  • Long-Term Care Planning

4. Legal Documents and Estate Planning:

  • Update Legal Documents
  • Estate Planning

5. Emotional and Social Support:

  • Seek Counselling
  • Build a Support Network
  • Take Charge of Finances
  • Emergency Fund

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers who are acting as divorce consultants, helping people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes.

If you would like more information regarding any of the above or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Dividing up marital possessions often causes significant problems and is frequently addressed at the end of the divorce case, after the financial and children’s issues have been settled. This is an emotional subject, and for obvious reasons, solicitors often have great difficulty in keeping it under control. The process can be both time consuming and costly if not handled properly.

Common Challenges in Dividing Possessions

Dividing up marital possessions often causes significant problems and is frequently addressed at the end of the divorce case, after the financial and children’s issues have been settled. This is an emotional subject, and for obvious reasons, solicitors often have great difficulty in keeping it under control. The process can be both time-consuming and costly if not handled properly. Many people spend thousands of pounds arguing endlessly over items that have little monetary value but hold significant emotional attachment. This can lead to unnecessary legal expense to determine ownership disputes, which further strain both parties financially and emotionally.

A Constructive Approach to Dividing Possessions

To avoid prolonged disputes, here’s a step-by-step guide to one constructive approach:

  • Categorise Items: Create separate schedules for different categories of items, such as kitchen items, furniture, artworks, sound and music equipment, etc.
  • Assign Values: Agree on the value of each item listed in the schedules. This can be done through mutual agreement or for valuable items, by consulting a professional appraiser.
  • Toss a Coin: To decide who picks first, toss a coin. The winner of the coin toss gets to choose the first item from the first schedule.
  • Alternate Picks: As compensation for going second, the other party is allowed to choose the next two items. After that, each party alternates in choosing an item until the schedule is exhausted.
  • Repeat the Process: Once a schedule is exhausted, move to the next schedule and repeat the coin toss. The winner of the second toss then has the option of taking, if preferred, the second and third items in the new schedule.

Additional Tips for a Smooth Division

  • Prioritise Emotional Value: Understand that not all items have the same emotional significance to both parties. Open communication about why an item is important can help facilitate more amicable decisions.
  • Hire a Mediator: If the process becomes too contentious, consider hiring a neutral mediator. Mediators specialise in helping couples reach mutually acceptable agreements without the high costs of arbitration or court.
  • Document Everything: Keep detailed records of all possessions and their agreed values. This documentation can prevent future disputes and serve as a reference if disagreements should arise.
  • Be Willing to Compromise: Both parties should be prepared to compromise. Holding on to minor items can lead to unnecessary stress and legal expenses. Focus on the bigger picture.
  • Consider Future Needs: Take account of the future needs of both parties. For example, if one person is keeping the family home, they may also need the items that go with it, such as appliances and furniture.

Legal Considerations

  • Prenuptial Agreements: If a prenuptial agreement exists, review its terms regarding the division of possessions. This document can determine how assets are allocated.
  • Tax Implications: Consider the tax implications of dividing certain assets. For instance, selling a valuable item to divide proceeds might have tax consequences that need to be addressed.

Dividing possessions during a divorce is undoubtedly challenging, but with careful planning, clear communication, and a willingness to compromise, it can be managed effectively.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

According to a survey by Canada Life 51% of UK adults have not written a will and are not in the process of writing one, with 13% having no intention to write a will in the future.

If you are cohabiting, divorcing, or contemplating divorce you should make a will or, if you already have a will, you should update it. Otherwise, your estate may end up in unintended hands.

With so many people living together and not getting married, the importance of making and keeping wills up to date has become increasingly more important. For example, if you cohabit and die without making a will then, instead of your estate (and even your share of any house you have bought together), ending up with your partner as you might have intended, it could pass to some relative under the rules of intestacy, leaving a former long-term partner having to find a new home!

And, even if you have a will, when you get married or enter a civil partnership, an existing will automatically becomes revoked. Therefore, if an individual does not subsequently make another will before they die, their estate could be treated as if they don’t have a will and again that the ‘rules of intestacy’ will apply.

As before, these rules may not reflect their wishes and could mean that their loved ones aren’t provided for in the way they would like.

If you marry or have a civil partnership and then divorce or are contemplating divorce, making a new will means that your estate will be dealt with in the way that you want, including that your children and that any new spouse or partner will be provided for. A new will can help prevent potential claims against your estate under the Inheritance Act or by an ex-spouse who might make a financial claim.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If the above resonates or you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

The 2022 figures from the Office of National Statistics reveal there were 80,057 divorces in England and Wales down almost 30% from the 113,505 divorces in 2021. That is the lowest level of divorces since 1971.

We will have to wait for the 2023 figures to see if there is indeed a downward trend, but does this really mean that more marriages are succeeding? We suggest some of the reasons for the low figures: – The state of the economy has forced couples to stay together. More people are cohabiting, so there are less marriages and hence less divorces. The continued cultural shift towards more communication and therapy. Couples are now more likely to seek help and work through issues rather than immediately resorting to divorce. The new ‘no fault divorce’ law introduced in April 2022. We explain below why ‘no fault divorce’ may have skewed the 2022 figures.

The attraction of the new procedure is that it is no longer necessary to blame the other party for causing the divorce.

Accordingly, many of the people who were considering divorce in the back end of 2021, decided to wait until April 2022 when the law changed.

That was all very well but the new divorce procedure required a ‘cooling off’ period of some 20 weeks between the start of the divorce and the grant of the conditional order (previously known as the decree nisi), and then another 6 weeks before the final order (previously the decree absolute).

So, those applying for divorce in April 2022 may well have had to wait until 2023 before they were divorced thereby deflating the 2022 figures.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes.

We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions, lower the temperature and stop people wasting their money.

If you know of someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please tell them to contact me. We do not charge for an initial consultation.

With more people than ever getting married later in life (some for the second or third time), there are often situations where existing assets need to be protected from the possibility of a future divorce – particularly where there is ‘inequality’ in the parties’ respective financial positions.

For example, a divorcee ‘bringing assets or money from their previous divorce settlement into a new marriage; a person who before marrying has managed to buy a property of their own (with or without help from family); or someone who has inherited or due to inherit a significant amount of money.

With some 42% of marriages ending in divorce the question is ‘is it fair for a divorcee to claim a share of assets or money that were built up by their husband or wife before they got together’?

The answer is that in law they may be entitled to share in pre-acquired assets so, to protect those assets, one answer is for the parties to consider entering into a prenuptial agreement. Such an agreement will set out the financial arrangements that will apply in the event of the parties divorcing.

As long as certain requirements are met, the divorce courts now take such agreements into account. The overriding requirement is the agreement must be fair. Also; there must be full disclosure by the parties of their world-wide assets and liabilities; each party must have obtained their own independent legal advice; and the agreement must be entered into a reasonable time before the marriage (to avoid the pressure of being asked to sign the day before the marriage takes place).

A prenuptial agreement can be simple or complicated. For example, it would be reasonable to assume that the settlement in a childless marriage of less than 5 years would be less than that for a 10 year marriage with 2 children, or even a 20 year marriage. Accordingly, prenuptial agreements can be long and with complicated provision for differing scenarios.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions, lower the temperature and stop people wasting their money.

If you know of someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please tell them to contact me. We do not charge for an initial consultation.

Over the last 15 years or so, the divorce process has changed enormously. Here are some of the key steps that can now be taken to save money on legal fees:

1. Since April 2022 and the introduction of ‘no fault divorce’, applying for divorce can be made online at the government website. The process is straightforward, and it is no longer necessary to pay a solicitor to do this.

2. The parties can also save money on legal fees by agreeing the financial settlement and children arrangements between themselves.

3. If the parties can’t agree between themselves, then the next best way to resolve matters is often through mediation. In this case a third party, a ‘mediator’ helps the parties reach agreement.

4. There are lots of mediators to choose from and the choice of mediator is very important. The parties should check the mediator’s credentials and experience. Before committing to them, the parties should individually have a conversation with the mediator to help judge that they feel comfortable with the mediator and that there is a ‘fit’.

5. To finalise and make any agreement binding (whether reached directly between the parties or in mediation), a court order is required. This is normally a rubber-stamping exercise dealt with remotely. Attendance at court is not necessary.

6. If the parties can’t reach agreement themselves or by mediation, then it is possible to save money by both parties instructing the same solicitor.

This is a recently introduced process called ‘one solicitor two clients’.

7. To help the parties understand the legal position, it is also possible for them to consult the same barrister. The barrister will evaluate the situation and express a view as to the likely outcome if their case were to be determined by a court. This is called a ‘neutral evaluation’.

8. If a party is going to end up in court, then they can save money by dispensing with a solicitor and just having a barrister. Not all cases or clients are suitable for this process, but it is worth considering. This is called ‘direct access’.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions, lower the temperature and stop people wasting their money.

If you know of someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please tell them to contact me. We do not charge for an initial consultation.

When international clients are involved, and there is a choice of where proceedings can be issued, the choice of jurisdiction can be all important.

The reason for this is that, in many countries, women are not awarded as much as they are by the English courts. Therefore, it is not uncommon for international men to seek to issue proceedings abroad and for international women to want to issue proceedings in England before their husband issue proceedings abroad.

Whilst there may be a dispute over who issued proceedings first or whether the issuing party qualifies to issue the proceedings in another country, the general rule is that, where the proceedings are commenced first, will normally be the jurisdiction that will apply, and the English courts will not then interfere.

Even where one party has contributed financially and the other domestically, England and Wales are two of the few countries that view marriage as a partnership.

For a long marriage our courts divide marital assets equally between the breadwinner and the housewife/househusband. This is often of particular significance to high, and ultra-high-net-worth families.

English courts also tend to scrutinise the parties’ financial resources more than most, and even indirect assets can be examined through trust and company structures. Our courts are known for being corruption-free and fair, even when powerful people are involved.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

Neutral Evaluation is a little-known process that can save both parties spending fortunes appointing their own lawyers to fight on their behalf.

Unlike mediation, the way a Neutral Evaluation works is that a single lawyer, normally an experienced barrister, will be provided with a brief prepared by or on behalf of both parties detailing the background, including their financial situation and other relevant facts. In response, the Neutral Evaluator will provide a reasoned opinion as to the likely outcome if the case was to be determined by a court.

The parties are not bound by the Neutral Evaluation and can still negotiate their own settlement with or without involving lawyers.

However, having been given the guidelines of how a court would view their case, the parties would be foolish to then ignore that advice and embark on their own expensive litigious jaunt.

We are a team of 5 experienced lawyers but, what makes us different to a firm of solicitors, is that we are acting as divorce consultants. We help people navigate the legal maze and stop them making expensive mistakes. We use our experience of the divorce process to find solutions to lower the temperature and save money.

If you know someone who may benefit from speaking to us, please do contact me. We don’t charge for an initial consultation.

If your marriage isn’t working.
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